omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
