What a fucking waste of an outfit
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
