tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
