Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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