I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
this will be a night to untag.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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