Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
