I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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