Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
