I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
