3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
