Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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