But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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