He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
We named our party play list daddy issues
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
