pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
