do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
