clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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