His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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