u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
