At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
