Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
