I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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