dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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