Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
