Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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