Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
