Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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