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It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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