Me too!
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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