My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
