Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
