And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
