i think my tv is drunk
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
