i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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