he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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