The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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