Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
