i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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