Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was confusing and full of hummus
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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