therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
