So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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