do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
