So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
