he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
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