we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
