Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
