Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize