your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
