i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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