I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
a search helicopter?!
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
