i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize