You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
