Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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