Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
