I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
