I cannot find my penis.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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