like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
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Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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