i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
