how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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