Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
