I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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