o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
