i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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